“Well, conditions are quite harsh here. The guidance we offer all of our clients to invest all their resources into preserved goods and firearms.” This piece of wise counsel comes from the Brain Gremlin – a lab-engineered, talking, bespectacled member of the oozy monster mob that overruns Manhattan’s ultra-modern Clamp Tower skyscraper in filmmaker Joe Dante’s madcap sequel Gremlins 2: The New Batch. On the surface, it’s nothing more than an portfolio pointer from one monster to another. However, in a strange manner, it’s also remarkably sound existential counsel. Seriously, hear me out.
When situations deteriorate, the most counterproductive action you can do is view events with undue solemnity. The Brain Gremlin understands this. Actually, a large portion of the dentally-gifted beasts that populate Dante’s wild 1990 film (arguably his best) possess the same sly, self-aware sense of humour regarding the hazy boundary separating everyday life and unadulterated chaos. It’s a particular aspect of Gremlins 2: The New Batch that maintains my loyalty – and the older I get, it’s the theme that echoes the loudest.
Of course, my connection with this movie wasn’t born on such an deeply thoughtful note. As a child, we were limited to a few scratched-up video tapes at home. Among them were Gremlins and its second chapter, the latter housed in a bulky previously-rented case likely purchased from an non-chain rental store and sporting grimacing beasts on its knackered cover. I was right away smitten and these films did not delay inserting themselves inside my young, susceptible psyche. After that point, they became an almost-daily part of my early years entertainment regimen.
Dante’s first film typically gets all the plaudits, thanks primarily due to its legacy as a moderately spooky festive favorite – and don’t get me wrong, I’ve watched Gremlins an incalculable number of times. Nevertheless, its successor infrequently obtains the same level of lofty appreciation, which feels unjust. As a kid, I’d always seize the chance to watch Gremlins 2. During long summer holidays, I’d seclude myself indoors and play it. When I got my own TV-VHS combo unit, it remained on repeat in my bedroom. Gradually, it ingrained itself in my psyche. If my parents detected this preoccupation, they appeared unbothered.
As I got older, new revelations enhanced multiple watches, amplifying the pleasure of watching small emerald creatures joyously wreck a New York high-rise. I learned the future-focused property magnate and Clamp Tower owner, Daniel Clamp (John Glover), was based squarely upon the eventual commander-in-chief Donald Trump, with his ginger staff member Marla (Haviland Morris) referencing his one-time partner Marla Maples. Fortunately, Clamp demonstrates more humanity than his actual-world equivalent.
The “doomsday” video Clamp plays during the height of creature carnage? I discovered it was inspired by a genuine “Doomsday” video produced by the CNN boss Ted Turner in case the world really ended. I noticed how Dante made a special effort to film varying versions of a meta sequence where Gremlins seize control of the exact movie you are viewing. One for cinemas, another for home video and television, each providing a grinning portion of meta pop-culture magic prior to the concept being mainstream.
While it was makeup maestro Rick Baker’s fantastically vile creatures that caught my eye as a child, this deeper gold maintained my fascination as an adult. In time, I even conversed with Dante about it myself and he had no reservations revealing to me he made the movie with the direct intention of mocking those who loved its goofy-but-heartfelt predecessor and desired a sequel. “We were going to make fun of the fact you came to see it,” he gleefully confessed. This Looney Tunes-esque defiance and commitment to not take his sequel as solemnly as his Warner Bros bosses evidently expected, only increased my affection for it.
When I went through a unexpected loss in the family not long ago, I was surprised to find that, during my heightest mourning, all I felt compelled to do was sit and watch Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Odd, no? Possibly not. The soothing reminiscence it offered was necessary to dilute my mind’s grief morass – but the perspectives it had bestowed upon me as an adult were equally valuable.
Like Gremlins running amok in a genetics laboratory, there’s certain elements in life you just can’t control. Dante understands this. The Brain Gremlin knows it too. Sometimes, you have to follow their example: accept the turmoil, commit your entire being into tinned provisions and hunting rifles and try not to view the world with undue solemnity.
It’s robust worldly wisdom from a highly unexpected fountain – and it’s the reason Gremlins 2: The New Batch will forever remain my feelgood film.
A certified nutritionist and wellness coach with over a decade of experience in holistic health practices.